


A Kiss with A Fist is Better than None

by Neyiea



Category: Rise of the Guardians (2012)
Genre: Angst, Bruises, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, RotG Kink Meme, Self Harm of a sort, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-22
Updated: 2013-02-24
Packaged: 2017-12-03 05:45:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/694820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neyiea/pseuds/Neyiea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Blizzard of '68 was meant to be Jack's last hurrah before he let himself disappear for good. Then Bunny showed up, enraged, and ended up hurting Jack during their confrontation.</p><p>It was the first time he'd been touched since he'd risen from the lake.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don't write angst or hurt/comfort much, but I hope this turns out okay. I'm giving myself so many feelings.

He remembers feeling weak, legs so shaky that the wind had scooped him up off of the ground and kept him in it's cool embrace. It had been a little angry at him before, when he'd first told it of his plan. But in the end the wind was the closest thing he had to a friend and it had promised to do what it could to help.

Everything was going according to plan. He'd done it, hand crafted one of the most remarkable storms of the century, not that he'd ever get the credit for it, and soon it would be time for the wind to take him south and help put him out of his misery. Heat usually didn't bother him too much, but maybe now, weak as he was, he'd just melt or evaporate, like he was never there at all.

He laughed, a cold, broken sound like icicles shattering on the pavement, and couldn't seem to stop. Finally, finally things were going right for him.

He was abruptly pulled back by the collar of his shirt and turned around, and then--

Then there was pain, blooming up hot and fierce high on his cheekbone where a fist had hit against his face. He lifted his hand to touch the area softly, hardly able to believe it.

Someone had touched him, _someone had actually touched him!_ He smiled widely, even wider when his cheek twinged sharply like a reminder.

"Oi! Think it's funny, do you? Runnin' around and messing up other people's holidays?" Jack is suddenly pinned on his back and looming over him, one knee digging painfully into his ribs, is someone who looks incredibly furry and angry and very, very threatening. But they're touching him, pinning his arms to his sides and leaning in so close that he can feel each exhale.

Jack is too weak to fight back, doesn't think he would if he could. This is the closest he's ever gotten to being held.

"I gotta go clean up the mess y'made, but if I _ever_ hear about you muckin' up someone's holiday again there won't be enough left of ya to fit in a match box."

This is it, he could say or do something and this strange, angry creature above him might finish him off for good. But, he flexes his arms, feels the hands holding him down clamp harder, the knee on his chest dig painfully deeper, he can't seem to make himself do it.

All he needs to do is forget about the pain, and this, this _closeness_ , is everything he's ever wanted.

"You'd better watch yourself, Jack Frost."

In the blink of an eye the other spirit is gone and Jack is left gasping in the snow.

His name. _They knew is name._

The bruises around his wrist are the first to fade, then goes the dark mark around his eye that he'd stare at every time he saw his reflection. Last to go is the bruising on his ribs. It's dark and purple and hurts every time Jack holds a hand against it, but he can't help but touch it, the proof that someone had actually come into contact with him.

It eventually fades to a sickly yellow and is then gone completely, like it was never there at all.

It's distressing and sad. He wants to be touched more, anywhere, even if it's violent and hurts and gives him marks that last for weeks.

Well, his resolve firms, if he can't have hugs then he'll take bone rattling tackles, if he can't have pats on the back he'll take a punch to the face, if he can't have a hand ruffling his hair he'll take a kick to the stomach.

Anything is better than nothing at all. Anything that will make him feel like he _actually_ exists is worth the pain.


	2. Chapter 2

He starts something of a habit. Sometimes he feels kind of like he's come to terms with the way things are, with how he is, and he continues on existing with only the wind as his constant companion. There are other times though; when he's sick of being invisible, hurt beyond words by the people walking straight through him, and he starts to wonder if this is some sort of punishment, a kind of personal hell for being a bad person in a past life, and he can't bear being alone. _Being incorporeal._ So he asks the wind to keep an eye out for the Easter Bunny.

He doesn't seem to be on the surface much and he moves fast enough that the wind can't always find him, but every once in a while the wind will whisper in his ear about his whereabouts and Jack can decided whether to go to him and start a fight or leave him be. Usually it's been so long, sometimes even years since he's last been touched, that even if it's one of his better days he chooses to go to him.

He interrupts Bunny while he's finding new colours, looking for special types of plants, hiding eggs. His reaction to Jack is always the same.

He never hits Jack when he's only just appeared, just lets words like steel cut through the air between them. He gets so worked up by himself, usually going on about the Easter that Jack had almost ruined, that Jack hardly has to do anything to turn their confrontation into a physical one. He frosts over flowers, asks the wind to make a mess of Bunny's things, spreads ice right underneath his feet; just small annoying things that eventually become the straw that breaks the camel's back and Bunny pounces on him.

Jack fights back, because he imagines if he didn't Bunny would start suspecting something wasn't quite right and then maybe he'd stop, would just start avoiding him _completely_ and take away the only contact Jack has and Jack _cannot let that happen._ He sometimes manages to get a couple of good hits in, but Bunny is bigger, faster and stronger than him and the wind knows not to interfere too much, so it just howls around them until Jack is lying alone on the ground and Bunny has escapes into one of his tunnels. 

He'll then pick himself up and take inventory of his bruises. He presses his hands over every one and smiles at the dull throbbing under his skin. Sometimes he'll get them in places he can see easily, like around his wrists, and he can just sit and stare at them for however long it takes for the constant lonely pang which is his existence dulls down a little. Sometimes they'll be on his face; a busted lip or a black eye that he can gaze over whenever he sees his reflection.

Sometimes if he's lucky he'll get large ones, like the bruising on his ribs, that can last for weeks before it fades away. He touches these bruises constantly, tries to slow down the healing process as much as he can in the hope that they'll stay on him for even a little bit longer.

All bruises fade in time though, and he's back to being alone, unmarked, _untouched_ until the wind manages to find Bunny again.

He lives like this for nearly fifty years until, for no reason other than the moon says so, he's suddenly important. He gets to see the inside of Santa's workshop, meets the Big Four, sees the Tooth Palace, lay his eyes on Pitch Black, go inside the Warren and see everything Bunny does to get ready for Easter.

Then he ruins Easter single handedly, for real this time. He doesn't even bother trying to block when he sees Bunny pull back his fist, but the other falters and doesn't end up striking him. He just looks disappointed and hurt.

It makes Jack feel so many things. Disappointed in himself, sad, guilty, but there's also a lot of anger. These people have never really been there for him, why should he be blamed for everything that's happened? And now, now he's too horrible to even _hit?_ The only form of contact he knows has been taken from him. If they're too disappointed in him to talk to him or touch him, he may as well be alone.

He leaves.

His life is a constant succession of things going from bad to worse, so of course Pitch Black corners him in Antarctica, of course he breaks Jack's staff, why should he expect anything will go right for him for once in his life?

But then he sees his memories, feels a warm echo of love not completely healing, but soothing centuries of loneliness, and he knows what he has to do.

x-x-x

They are back at the Pole, lounging around one of North's living rooms. Jack is stretched out on a couch, barely able to keep his eyes open. It's been a long time since he's felt this tired.

Baby Tooth flutters around him and settles down on his chest before furred hands grab his ankles and lift up his legs so Bunny can sit on the couch with him, Jack's feet resting in his lap.

This is the most gentle Bunny's ever been with him. He closes his eyes to savour the moment.

He's not sure how the topic is brought up, but someone mentions the Blizzard of '68 and Bunny snorts, rapping a fist lightly against his stomach in a parody of a punch that won't bruise in the slightest.

"Why did ya decide t'burry my googies in snow that year anyways? What did I ever do to you?"

Jack shrugs tiredly. "The date didn't matter. Only the storm did."

"Why was it so important to you?" Tooth asks curiously and Jack purses his lips together, not sure they'll understand if he tells them.

"Ah, do not be so secretive!" North exclaims loudly. "I remember that storm, had to go and ask Mother Nature if it was supposed to have occurred. Put you on the Naughty List for several decades when I found out it wasn't."

Sandy leans forward, a question mark hovering over his head and Baby Tooth peers up at him curiously.

Jack bites his lip and glances around. They are asking nicely, and they're probably not going to stop asking, maybe he'll just be vague.

"It was important because it was going to be my last storm."

Bunny lets out a bewildered laugh and Tooth hides a smile behind her hand while North and Sandy share an amused glance.

For just a second Jack feels more hurt than he's ever been. A sharp stab that outshone all the times he'd goaded Bunny into a fight and even when Pitch broke his staff. Then he realizes they don't actually know _what he means,_ and the pain washes away, leaving behind an empty ache.

"We're supposed t'believe that ya were gonna stop wreakin' havoc?" Bunny asks with a warm smile as he gently squeezes his ankles.

Jack sits a little straighter, eyebrows furrowed. "It would have been my last, my greatest, storm. I wouldn't have wreaked anymore havoc after that."

"What, were you plannin' on hibernating afterwards?"

"No." He frowns looks down at his hands, an age old question running through his mind. " _Melt or evaporate,_ " he whispers and Bunny's ears twitch.

"What was that?"

"I threw all of my power into creating that storm. I was going to have the wind take me to the equator while I was still weak and then I would disappear. I would melt away or evaporate into nothingness."

Bunny's grip on his ankles is no longer soft, he probably doesn't even realize he's tightened his hands around him. Jack cautiously looks around and studies the other's reactions.

"Jack, why?" Tooth manages to gasp out and he shrugs carelessly. It happened so long ago, and he didn't even end up going through with it. He doesn't see why they're acting this dramatic about it. 

"I was lonely and invisible and sick of being ignored, Every day I continued existing was just a reminder of how isolated I was. I just wanted it to end." He winces when Tooth lets out a soft, broken sound and looks about seconds away from crying. "I didn't end up going through with it, obviously. I'm still here after all." He smiles, but no one returns it.

"What... Made you change your mind?" North asks softly, sounding so much older all of a sudden.

Jack shrugs and nudges his feet against Bunny's chest.

"Bunny did."


	3. Chapter 3

"M-me?" Bunny wheezes out incredulously."But I, when I first met you I," his ears fall back and his hands begin to tremble faintly, "I hurt you," he finishes, voice heavy with anguish.

"I know." Jack raises his hand to his cheek and shuts his eyes, remembering the phantom pain of that first hit. "That was the first time I'd been touched."

" _What?_ " Bunny's voice cracks and the trembling in his hands becomes more apparent. He briefly tries to stop it by tightening his grip but then he realizes what he's doing and pulls his hands away completely.

"I remember, you were so mad that I thought maybe I wouldn't have to have the wind take me south." He laughs softly but doesn't dare open his eyes for fear that they are a little more glossy than usual.

"But you were so close to me. I could feel you breathe, feel your pulse from your fingers. You were so _alive_ , and in that moment I felt alive too. It was... It helped, to finally be so near someone. The pain didn't make it any worse, in the end I think that it was better that it hurt. I had weeks of proof that someone actually touched me. The bruises left on me kept me going for a long time."

Baby Tooth nuzzles against his neck and hugs what she can with her tiny arm span. It sounds like Tooth's actually started crying and Bunny makes a soft sound, like a whine, in the back of his throat.

Jack opens his eyes, blinks rapidly, and tries to dispel the dark atmosphere that's fallen around them.

"Hey, I didn't mind. A little pain is nothing in the face of verifying your existence. Why do you think I always bothered you on the surface when it only ever ended with a fight?"

"You wanted me to _hurt_ you?"

Jack bites his lip. Not necessarily hurt, but he supposed that was close enough. "Yes, it was what I wanted. I needed any form of contact, and that was the easiest to get." He doesn't mention the bruises, how he'd stare at and touch them, how he'd poke and prod and _hit_ to get them to last as long as possible. He doesn't think anyone can handle that information right now.

"But why didn't you tell me, _anyone_ , what was going on?"

"Would anyone have listened?"

He doesn't mean it as an attack, it's just a simple question, but four of five wince and jerk back and Jack sighs, burying his face in his hands. He's only making things worse, he should have kept this to himself.

"Look, I'm sorry. I'm making you all uncomfortable." He gently pries Baby Tooth off of his neck and sets her down on the arm of the couch before he pulls his feet out of Bunny's lap and stands up. "I'll come back later."

He doesn't even make it one step before Sandy is in front of him, effectively blocking his path. The sand moves quickly over his head as he stares at Jack with large, sad eyes that will him to understand. Jack shakes his head.

"I don't know what you're trying to tell me."

Sandy slows down and gently pushes Jack back until he's sitting down.

An arm hesitantly winds around his shoulders and Bunny lightly pulls him close, _closer_ , until he's practically in the other's lap. Another arm wraps around his front and Bunny buries his face in Jack's hair.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I should have noticed."

"It's not your fault, I didn't want you to know. I thought you'd start avoiding me if you did." He brings his hands up to run over Bunny's arm, stroking his fingers through soft fur.

"Well you don't have to worry about that, ya hear? An' if you ever, _ever_ feel like you used to and need... Contact," Bunny's voice cracks again, "just let me know, please, just _let me know._ "

Jack relaxes and sinks against Bunny's chest. In the strong circle of the other's arms he feels like something precious, cherished. It's a good feeling, better than any bruise.

"Alright," he agrees and Bunny makes a relieved sound against his neck and holds him just a little tighter. Sandy settles down on his other side and leans against him while Baby Tooth once again perches close to his neck. Tooth wipes at her eyes and flutters behind them, wrapping her thin arms around Bunny and Jack, lightly resting her chin on Jack's shoulder.

North is the last to move, slowly stepping forward as though Jack is a cornered animal, and kneels in front of him. He takes the winter spirit's hands, so small and cold in comparison to his own, and cradles them closely.

"We have failed you before we even knew you." 

Jack opens his mouth to protest but North holds a finger to his lips.

"Do not deny the obvious, Jack. We left you alone for too long, far too long."

"We won't let it happen again." Bunny promises and Jack can feel Tooth nod against his shoulder while Sandy leans in closer. He finds himself blinking back tears.

"Thanks."

"For what?" Tooth asks softly.

"For _this._ " He feels almost overwhelmed but he thinks that, given the chance, he could get used to it.

"Ya ever need somethin' like this, all ya need to do is ask."

"I know," he smiles widely and shuts his eyes, committing this short sliver of time to memory, "I will."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a firm believe that group hugs, puppy piles and cuddle puddles can cure all wounds.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Backslide](https://archiveofourown.org/works/899516) by [jeleania](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jeleania/pseuds/jeleania)




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